This trip is hard.... harder than I thought it would be.
I miss you dearly my little Leo.
I watch as little boys tottle around, grasping their mommy's hand.
I watch new baby boys clutching to their mother's chest in front packs of all kinds.
I miss you.
You were supposed to be here with me, with us, on this trip to Disneyland.
Our first family trip... and yet you aren't here.
I am drawn to all the infant clothing in all the shops.
I pick up a tiny blue knit hat that features little Mickey ears.
Tears start to fall.
I want you here.
I want to bring this hat home.
But it won't change anything.
I miss my precious son... it is almost more than I can bear this week.
I see Nevaeh's eyes dance with delight at the wonder around her.
I wish I could have seen it in you too.
So many things I long to have witnessed with you.
I. Miss. You.
I long to hold you close... I just wish things were different.
I know God has bigger plans.
My trust is in Him.
He is my Refuge and my Strength.
My faith has pulled me through.... my faith is the only thing keeping me afloat this week.
I miss my son.
Why did it have to be like this?
How do I move forward from this?
Lord, strengthen and comfort me. Guide me and use me for Your glory. Your unending love is enough. Your love and peace keep me going. By your grace, I will see my son again one day and we will live together in the midst of Your glory forever and ever. In Jesus Name, Amen.
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Thanks for your comments! Im so sorry about your loss and your absolutely right, it sounds like you have the greatest doctor, which I have not had. I would totally trust that as well.
ReplyDeleteI have had several different doctors due to insurance changes and location changes who all say something different. So for me Im confused as heck in what to do.
Thanks for your story and I pray for a safe delivery for you and baby!
Take Care